My Shitty Takes

     This quarantine fucking sucks. Fuck Rona. I was supposed to get an internship this summer to satisfy a class for my major, but obviously I wasn't able to do that. Because of this, I have no idea what is happening with my graduation plan. On top of that, I've realized that maybe I'm not cut out for the major I chose (sport and recreation management). I have no idea what to do with my life. I've had some really bad thoughts in my past and some of them are returning. I'm having an existential life crisis at literally the worst time.
     I'm not sure what to do with myself during this time. I love to write, but mostly about the NBA and the Sixers and, well, that shit ain't returning anytime soon (I feel like I'm going to cuss a lot in this post, I don't give a fuck anymore).
     So what do I do? Well I've been playing a lot of video games, working out, going for walks, and trying to talk to my friends (not working out too well, which is my fault because I've isolated myself when I got really depressed). That's not enough to fill my days for the extent of however long this whole fuckery goes on. So fuck this and fuck you; here are some of my shitty takes on things I like.

Eternal Atake Can't Be Compared to LUV Is Rage 2 

     

     No, this is not me making an excuse to say EA is bad. Hell, I fucking love this album. Baby Pluto, Lo Mein, Celebration Station, Chrome Heart Tags, Prices, and P2 are some of his best songs to date. I definitely think it was worth the grueling wait. But why won't I say if it is better or worse than LUV is Rage 2? It's because it's a cohesive album (and also due to LUV is Rage 2 being an absolute masterpiece too) and it just can't be compared in a similar way to LUV is Rage 2. In my personal opinion, you can't really listen to one song on the album. You can't just listen to Bust Me; you need to listen from Baby Pluto introducing you to what Eternal Atake is in the song Baby Pluto until you hear him thank you at the end of P2. The album makes you want to keep listening from Baby Pluto, to Renji, to Lil Uzi Vert. LUV is Rage 2 you can listen to any song at any time in any order and be satisfied. That album is one of my favorite albums of all time and I have no complaints with it. Every song on that album can be played and enjoyed. The only thing is you don't have to start with Two and end up at 20 Min an hour later. Eternal Atake isn't just a musical experience, it literally takes you to a whole new plane of existence. Listening to Baby Pluto, Prices, and P2 for the first time will probably always be the best experience I will ever have listening to music. The beat drops in Baby Pluto and Prices are orgasmic and when I realized P2 actually was XO Tour Llif3 2 I fucking cried. I cried a lot while listening to this album for the first time. Uzi really came through. 

Eternal Atake Is Better Than VS The World 2

     Once again don't get me wrong, I love LUV vs the World 2. It has some amazing songs, but it also has two of my least favorites in Lotus (I can't believe this was a grail, I really don't like it) and Money Spread (this is just a really weird and uncomfortable song to me). I guess I'm kind of a hypocrite in comparing vs the World 2 to Eternal Atake, but like I said, these are my SHITTY takes. I will forever love Uzi for giving us fans so many snippets that we have always wanted, but Eternal Atake being a journey from beginning to end just puts it on a whole new level of brilliance. Yessirskiii is probably the perfect song to blare in the car, but EA is an experience. 

The Way Life Goes and XO Tour Llif3 Are The Most Beautiful Songs I Have Ever Heard And Are Damn Near Perfect

     For some reason, I've really wanted to write about this shitty take for awhile. Let's start with XO. 1.2 billion streams. Holy fucking shit. Uzi really is a goddamn rockstar and it shows in this song (really both of these songs). With one of the most iconic choruses and beats, most people know or have probably heard of this song. XO Tour Llif3 touches on relationship problems and substance abuse alongside suicide (which hits close with me). I'd go to argue that this song really popularized the emo rap movement. Before this, there was no Juice WRLD or X. XO Tour Llif3 really gave artists the creativity to start putting their true emotions into their music. Now look. Just about every rapper is trying to put out more emotional songs because that's what sells now and XO Tour Llif3 is really what started this craze. 

     The Way Life Goes always gets me to shed a tear. Once again, Uzi discusses relationship problems, talking about his breakup with Brittany Byrd. This time, he tries to look at the positive side of things. "I know it hurts sometimes but you'll get over it You'll find another life to live I swear that you'll get over it I know you're sad and tired You've got nothing left to give You'll find another life to live I know that you'll get over it". If XO Tour Llif3 is about the actual breakup, then The Way Life Goes is almost like a continuation of these feelings. I'm always amazed at how the song is supposed to be somewhat uplifting, saying you will get over whatever is hurting you with time, but the way it is delivered makes one of the most heart wrenching songs. I will never understand why there had to be a remix with Nicki fucking Minaj. 

     What really amazes me about these two songs are how amazing Uzi sounds, whether he's rapping or singing. Shit, the second choruses and verses on both songs are some of the greatest vocals I have ever heard. You can hear the raw emotion and those feelings are just transmitted straight to you. I have yet to hear anything sound better than these two songs and I doubt I ever truly will.

The NBA Should Not Come Back This Season

     It's fucking pointless. It may also have something to do with how the Sixers have fucking sucked this year. I don't want to see a half-assed end of the season. Just cancel the fucking season and play again whenever it's ok to play again. Don't do a shitty season with no fans because we will literally never win a single game without an advantage at Wells Fargo. If that's next October, fuck it. There is no way you can do anything with safety as the number one priority for a real long time. No one wants to be the next Gobert if the league were to come back by being the first one to get the virus and shut down everything again. I can survive without basketball for awhile as long as it means they don't put some shitty content out just to get it out. Y'all got enough money already.

Matisse Thybulle. That Is All.

Ignore me being fat as fuck and my shitty balding hair

     I may just go off on one of the most homo tirades ever, but holy shit look at those dimples. This is probably the most beautiful man I have ever come in contact with. I've been watching his defensive highlights (here for your viewing pleasure), and...

Yes I know I tweet to no one

     

     Matisse has been a truly exciting rookie to watch. I'll never forget that game against the Raptors. He seemed like he couldn't miss and was locked in defensively. He's an easily lovable player with a great personality, which will make it hard for me when he has to leave. Thybulle is mainly just a defender, and although he is already one of the best in the league (in my opinion, like I've said, these are my shitty takes), that may not be enough. Brand could package him in a trade later on. Knowing that dumbass he's going to include him in a shitty salary dump that does no good for us. 

     Tisse will need to work on his offense a lot. He's pretty similar to Covington in the way that they both can not dribble if their life depended on it. Unlike Covington, he isn't the best three point shooter, ending at 35.2% (league average being 36%). Sure that's ok, but if Thybulle really wants to make an impact and be a starter, then he'll need to develop a reliable deep shot (40% would make me nut). I could see him developing this and I really hope he does. I love this man more than life itself and I don't know what I would do if he wasn't a Sixer (imagine if the Celtics actually kept him oh god oh fuck).

Ben Simmons For DPOY

     

     Fuck Giannis. Fuck Kawhi. A real FUCK GOBERT. Simmons the Defensive Player of the Year. "BEN SIMMONS IS A THIEF, BUT IN PHILLY THAT'S LEGAL" (let us also take a moment to recognize the greatness that is Marc Zumoff). When Simmons was coming into the league, many would question if he could play defense. Now look at this motherfucker. One of the best defenders in the league. Simmons is too big, too powerful, and too long for most of his matchups. You can't put your point guard on him because he's damn near half a foot taller than most at his position. Him, Embiid, and Thybulle are an unfair combination on defense. Seeing three pointers blocked is rare unless you're watching the Sixers (I wouldn't suggest watching this shitty team). Simmons has one of the most all-around defensive prowess in today's game: off-ball, on-ball, steals, blocks, deflections, you name it. I will actually be furious if he at least doesn't get an All-Defensive First Team nod. Voters can be insane. It doesn't make sense to me how DPOY winners end up on All-Defensive Second Team (Marc Gasol in 2013). Knowing the hate for Simmons, I highly doubt he ends up winning the DPOY and there might be a good chance he doesn't make First Team. 

I want to do this more often. I really like writing, but there's not a lot I can think of to write. I might have rushed this one because I wanted to get something out. If you are reading this, you most certainly know me so please give me ideas of what I could write about. Maybe I'll do an Eternal Atake review, my favorite albums, some shit like that.