Sixers Offseason 2019

     I can't get it out of my head. The Raptors avenged us for double doink with their own quadruple doink to win the goddamn series. I'm not entirely sure if we would have done anything in overtime, but by god we should have won that series. I'm not happy with how it ended, but I'm also not exactly mad. We were the best competition to the eventual champions.


I was happy with what Brand did throughout the season, although we definitely could have used Waluigi looking ass Landry Shamet (plz come back king we miss you). 



After all we've been through last season, the only thing I can truly say is:

RUN. IT. THE. FUCK. BACK.


The Draft

We are easily in the running for most beautiful NBA team.

     I originally wanted Matisse Thybulle, but I was not entirely happy with how we got him. Everyone and their mamas knew we wanted him. He had one meeting with us and he canceled all workouts. Hopefully this doesn't turn out to be another Larry Hughes. The Celtics fleeced us trading a player from Washington to us. Sound familiar? Of course the Celtics took Carsen Edwards, another person I really wanted, right before our pick at 34 with our pick we gave them in the Thybulle trade. They also knew we wanted Edwards and once again fooled us, "forcing" Brand to just give up the rest of our second round picks. Throughout his NCAA career, Thybulle averaged 9.2/3.1/2.0 on 42.9/35.8/78.2 (very similar to Iguodala's averages in college). Sure that may not look great, but Thybulle has huge upside. He is an elite defender and he has potential to improve his shot. NBA 3-point shooting can be determined by free-throw percentage in college (don't ask me how) and in his senior year, Thybulle shot 85% from the line. I feel like he could be comparable to Zhaire: elite defense, but a project on offense, although Zhaire is much more of a high-flyer. Thybulle looked to be one of the most NBA ready players in the draft, so that is very promising for a team that needs depth (*cough* Sixers *cough*). Overall, I wouldn't say I'm really happy or mad about the draft. We got a player I wanted, but at a cost.



The Offseason


Re-Signings

Jimmy Butler


     It seems like Jimmy "coasted" during the regular season, even with those game winners against the Hornets and Nets and the game sealer against the Celtics (by the way Zumoff is really the GOAT announcer, I'm legit tearing up watching these highlights). JIMMY BUTLER YOU ARE A 76ER (and hopefully you retire one, too)! In his 55 games as a Sixer in the regular season, he averaged 18.2/5.2/4.0 on 49.4/33.8/86.8. The 3-point percentage may not be the greatest, but he was really good from the line and extremely clutch. We needed a closer and we got THEE Jimmy G (the G stands for Gets) Buckets. There really aren't many players in the league who are more clutch than Mr. Buckets. In the playoffs, he turned it up and averaged 19.4/6.1/5.2 on 51.5/26.7/87.5 (while doing this research I had no idea that 3-point percentage would be that disgusting). Jimmy was sometimes the only playable person on the court during the playoffs and you just felt bad for him. He was putting his heart and soul into the game, I mean everyone else was kinda playing their fullest (Simmons needed to be more aggressive a lot), but they just sucked. Maybe Jimmy deserves better than this young core, but Jimmy also deserves to be able to take a back seat to Embiid sometimes and other times be the one to step up. Jimmy can get the most money here (5 years for $190 million) and he deserves every penny of it. His defense has regressed a little (although still elite), but he has been unstoppable in crunch time. Jimmy, please, for the betterment of my mental health, stay. 

Tobias Harris



      Now Tobi is a difficult one. We gave up so much and he was kinda mediocre with us, but I truly believe we should retain him. If we don't, I'd be fine with going after Al Horford. In 27 games with the Sixers, he averaged 18.2/7.9/2.9 on 54.2/32.6/84.1. Both the 3-point and free throw percentage were down, but if he is utilized right (plz Brett, maybe Udoka could help this year), his 3-point should hover around 40% and hopefully the free throw percentage can at least go in the mid to high 80s. Tobias seems like he should be the perfect fit for this team: someone who can create his own shot and hit jumpers, but it wasn't that easy. Chalk it up to Brett not using him correctly, him not being adjusted to the team and the coaching, whatever you want, but it didn't work like it should have. That is one of the reasons I'm skeptical on bringing him back, but Landry Shamet died for this and I really think that Tobias can get back to how he was in LA. I'm still kinda mad that they gave up Cov's number that soon. I don't think he's a max player, but if we have to, we have to. I'd like him for somewhere in the 20s, but I ain't no GM. He could go back home to Brooklyn.

J.J. Redick


     (I have no clue why this paragraph looks so weird, but nothing I do fixes it) JJ could also leave us for Brooklyn, where he currently lives. Redick once again had a career year averaging 18.1/2.4/2.7 on 50.2/39.7/89.4. In his exit interview, Redick even said "I’d love to be back. I haven’t tried to hide that at all. I love to be back with the Sixers. I’d love to finish my career here and all that". We have his early bird rights, which means "a team can re-sign its own free agent for either 175% of his salary the previous season, or the NBA's average salary, whichever is greater. Early Bird contracts must be for at least two seasons, but can last no longer than four seasons" (thanks wikipedia). I saw somewhere that the Sixers were only willing to pay JJ up to $6 million, so maybe a 2 year $10-$12 million contract is what I would like for him, but I'm not too sure if he would take it. JJ's pick and roll with Embiid is elite and I feel like it would be a major hole if that isn't apart of our offense (mainly cause Brett loves that play). We need shooters, JJ loves the team and the team and fans love him back, so re-signing him makes the most sense.
     
Others ( Mike Scott, Boban Marjanovic, James Ennis, Shake Milton)



     Mike Scott: Ain't no bitch. If you ain't apart of the Mike Scott Hive, then what are you even doing with your life? That shot to win the game against the Nets in the playoffs showed that this man has fucking ice running up and down his veins. He embodies what the city of Philadelphia is and wants. Nobody has shown him this love and I really believe he loves it here and would want to stay, even if it means a pay cut. Give this man the max immediately.
     Boban Marjanovic: Boban was playable in the regular season and for sometimes against the Nets. He's really slow and can't play a lick of defense, but yet he's already a better shooter than Simmons. If you give him the vet min to entice Tobias to come back, I have no problem with that. Tobi and Bobi SZN.
     James Ennis: Ennis was a very good surprise. His defense was superb and he was actually pretty good on offense every now and then. He was pretty abysmal from 3 (30.6%), but it honestly didn't seem that bad. He deserves more than we can pay him.
     Shake Milton: Not a lot to say about him because he barely played due to being a 2-way contract. I definitely want him back due to his potential. He can shoot, and he's long enough to eventually be at least a positive defender. Plus, he is Cov's replacement for hype-man for the Frosty Freezeout. 

I'm so sorry TJ but you're gone :(

Possible Free Agents

(note: these are probably only possible if one of Tobias or Jimmy leave)

Patrick Beverley



     Just like Mike Scott, Beverley embodies what it means to be a Philadelphia sports player. Tenacious defense, shooting, and playing with heart is exactly what we want and what we need. Beverley shot 39.7% from deep last season with the Clippers, something we need from a guard. With Simmons, Zhaire, and Thybulle (probably more of a forward, but I'm trying to fit my narrative), we just about have negative shooting. Like usual, we could always use defense. Beverley, although sometimes a shitty person (the whole thing with Westbrook), would be a great addition to this team.

Dewayne Dedmon



     Come back king! Dewayne Dedmon would just about be the perfect backup to Embiid. He can shoot the ball (38.2% from 3)! Sign me up. We just need some type of backup center that can actually play in a playoff game without looking like a complete fool (we ran Greg Monroe for 2 minutes and was a -9). I mean, basically the main reason I want Dedmon is due to his shooting. A center who can space the floor in this age is key, and Embiid only shot 30% and not like we have a competent backup. Highly doubt we would be able to bring him back, especially if we sign both or even just one of Jimmy and Tobias.

Kyle O'Quinn



     I didn't have too much to write about Dedmon to be honest, and I have even less to say about O'Quinn. He's a competent basketball player who plays the 5. Like shit, that's exactly what we need. We may be able to sign him to the vet min, which would be nice. He regressed a little last year with the Pacers, but he's better than anything we have. Please Brand, get a center who knows how to play the game of basketball.



In honor of our king, Timothy John McConnell, who is most likely gone.

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